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Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Summer Anthem



  Invitation after invitation. They kept on coming like water flowing from a fountain. The intimidating words looking me back in the eyes, struck fear deep within. Summer Pool Party. I could not see past the intimidation I felt towards "fun in the sun." Parading around in practically nothing, hardly allowed for an exciting time ahead. Never had I ever felt such insecurity about how I was going to "look" at a function with people surrounding me. Teenage uncertainty regarding external beauty had never felt so strong. It had such power over me. It was the rope strangling my summer of festivities. My summer of confidence! My insecurity had gotten the best of me. My self-doubt was stronger than I, and slowly I was losing myself due to the attempt of finding myself. Acting as a social butterfly I attended these parties sporting jeans, converse, and tied t-shirts. The estranged looks I received were endless. It nearly became a joke between myself and friends alike. I had become the non-swimming vampire who could not be exposed to the sun! They understood my uncertainty. I just could not bring myself to understand their certainty! They all seemed to possess the power and strength to have fun and disregard the voice in the back of their minds. No roadblock was going to stifle a time of pure fun. It was difficult when I would return home to find my Facebook clogged with underwater photographs of these affairs. Picture after picture sans Lily.. It was as if my presence at these parties was invisible. Gone without notice! It took nearly 5 pool parties, a few declines, and the struggle to swap my jeans for a bikini, that I forced myself to overcome this lack of confidence! I sat by the swimming girls, with my feet dangling over the cold stone, when my dearest of friends came up to me and simply said "Lil, it is time you come swimming." I looked back at her with a smirk and wide eyes and replied, "Do we not know each other? I am Lily and really don't DO these swim parties." We laughed for a bit, and danced around the real reason why I refused to take part in such activity. When she came forward to ask the dreaded why, I explained. I admitted my fear. I confided my insecurity. She looked back at me with such strength and said, "You are only going to live one Summer 2012. Don't just dip your toes into it. Put your whole self in!" Never had I ever witnessed such support. Never had I ever been offered such motivational advice. It was that sure-fullness in her voice that made me run into the bathroom rip the tags off my never-worn suit and hopped in that pool. The fear didn't evaporate as the water touched my skin, however it was the power I had, to push it aside that distracted me from it. As I splashed around in the pool with my friends on either side, I realized the fun which my self-conscious behavior had blocked me from all along! It is when you bring yourself to understand that we all have insecurities. It is when you bring yourself to realize that we must overcome them. Live your summer out through confidence. Don't allow your fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game!  Learn to push that little voice within, out! Find your determined and strong motivator, and run with it. This is YOUR time to love yourself. This is your time to feel passionate. This is your summer to be confident. Now put on that bikini. Put down the converse. Run outside. Do something. Make this your summer 2012!


2 comments:

  1. Very insightful--and true! You are helping me a lot, LUV writers. I am just beginning to see myself differently and I owe it ALL to this sight.

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  2. Give the girl a medal, that's the best piece of body image advice I've heard in a long time! It makes me annoyed that it is winter in the southern hemisphere so I can't go out and buy my first ever bikini I have to wait :(

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